What is Sexual Performance Anxiety and How to Get Over It?

sexual performance anxiety
Sexual performance anxiety: Sex is more than just a physical response. Your emotions have something to do with it, too. When your mind is too stressed out to focus on sex, your body can't get excited either.

What is sexual performance anxiety? It happens when you become nervous or a bit tense about the sex you are about to have with your partner. It occurs when you are sure you would like to have sex with this partner, but you are bothered and unsure about something. Sometimes, you are worried about how your sex partner would see you or how well you will perform with her.

A man might be anxious over the length of his penis, unsure about his erection strength, worried about what went wrong the last time he tried, etc. This doesn’t happen to man alone.

In the case of a woman, you may be bothered about your inability to get quick arousal; you think some of your organs are not responding as they should, and they would probably not answer again, you are worried about your inability to reach orgasm or timid about your partner’s personality.

This problem can happen to any class of people. The old, young, rich, poor. Subject to the cause, people who have had sex a lot of times earlier can develop sexual performance at some point. So, it should not come as an unbelievable surprise that you are battling with sexual performance anxiety at the moment.

Sexual performance anxiety symptoms

How would you know that you have got sexual anxiety issues? Your state of mind has definitely got something to do with it.

Some symptoms are;

  • A disturbed state of mind.
  • Inability to produce vagina lubes.
  • A weak erection (erectile dysfunction)
  • Quick ejaculation
  • Inability to reach orgasm

What are the probable causes of sexual anxiety?

Sex is more than just a physical activity. It involves your emotions, hormones, nervous system, sexual compatibility, and whatnot. When your mind has a lot of stress while focusing on sex, your body fails to get excited. There are a lot of different causes that can lead to performance anxiety, and a few of them are:

Physical Causes

Mental or physical ailments can bring problems in a man’s sexual capacity. These ailments bring vascular (vein) and heart disorder, uneven hormonal characters, neurological issues, persistent illnesses like liver or kidney failure, alcohol abuse, and medication misuse. Sexual want and capacity can be influenced by symptoms of specific drugs such as energizing drugs.

Mental causes

These include relationship or conjugal issues, wretchedness, worry about sexual execution, business-related nervousness and pressure, a past sexual injury, and sentiments or blame.

Past experience

More often than not, people who experience sexual anxiety owe some of it to their experience. You have probably had sex with someone with whom things went wrong. She probably slammed with denigrating words about your dick size. It could also be that you have had sex with someone, and he complained all the while. You were unresponsive, dumb in bed, etc. It may have arisen from your previous health conditions, state of mind on a different note.

Doubt about yourself

Quite possibly, your previous experiences can result in your lack of excitement and self-confidence. But sometimes, it has nothing to do with your past. There was no gruesome past or awkward experience. You were just timid about your partner’s personality or were not sure you could perform as much as you’d like.

Your self-depiction

If you are asking me, it has quite a lot to do with yourself. How you perceive yourself can tell a lot about your chances of possible sexual anxiety. You don’t have the sort of chests that everyone is talking about. You think you are short of fat. You don’t look sexy; you think you are ugly, etc. The more the negative attributes you give yourself, the more they heighten your sexual nervousness.

Tales you have heard

It is noteworthy that the things you have listened to may have some impacts on your sexual anxiety. You have heard people talk about how ‘a standard erection’ should look, how orgasm should happen. How long a great guy should last, and so forth? The moment you get overly bothered about them, you have a high tendency to be affected by sexual anxiety. You would keep thinking of ways to get better and meet the fallacious standards you heard them talk about.

How then can you get yourself out of sexual anxiety?

If you think you have the symptoms of performance anxiety, see a doctor, talk to a pro, or someone you find comfortable enough with to share your sexual life. The doctor might do some tests to make sure that medication and other health conditions aren’t the cause of your problem. During the examination, a professional might ask you about your sexual history to find out how long you have been feeling about performance anxiety and the kind of thought that is interfering with your sex life.

There are a few medications and therapies that can help you treat erectile dysfunction and a few other sexual health problems that have physical causes. If there are no medical or physical causes to blame then your doctor might suggest you try a few of these approaches:

Find yourself

I consider it a number one priority to explore yourself before exploring anyone else or giving them the license to examine you. If things had got messy at some point, clambering over them is no use at all. Get up and find yourself. Understand what works for you and what doesn’t. If you think there are some averages, you should last ten minutes in bed and then work towards improving it.

When you have problems you cannot change; however, tell yourself there is someone out there who wants you just the way you are. You are, in fact, the perfect shape that person is in search of. Give your self-confidence and a lot of morale. Stand in the mirror and tell yourself you are proud of it. Doing these things can help you to discover a spectacular version of yourself. It can even attract the best sexual partner you have.


It is essential to talk to your partner about it. Tell your partner your exact fears so there would be no surprises if it happens. Often, your partner would offer to assure words that can help you boost your self-esteem. If you have awkward demands that make you feel uncomfortable, it is much better to communicate them to your partner. After all, they may agree.

During sex is a necessary time to check in with your partner to see how they are feeling, what they like, and what they want more of. While you are having sex, it is easiest to communicate using dirty talk to not ruin the mood by coming off too severe or too concerned. To correctly display while also playing into the spirit of the moment, you can do so in a sexy way, using sexy language. You should tell each other what you like by saying, “oh yes, I like that” or “I like it when you touch me like that” This lets the person know to do more of the same because this is what will get you to orgasm. By being aware of these things and talking about them at the moment, it will help with your confidence in the bedroom and reduce your insecurities.

Distract yourself

If you are worried because you have just had issues or fights with your partner and you are getting into each other’s bed again after a long while, It makes perfect sense to distract you. It can work in other cases. Stand up and dance for your partner, forcing them to dance with you, comment on things that are not directly connected to how much you would perform in bed that day. It can help you overcome` your sexual performance anxiety. Many times, the simple cure to anxiety is to drop it. Deliberately doing that may be challenging, but if you got carried away by other talks, you really may.

Talk to a pro

I cannot overestimate the importance of talking to a professional. Remember to speak to a professional. Remember, they are trained to see right through you in cases like these, and it might just be the best thing to know what they think of your circumstance and what can help you out. There is no reason to be anxious in bed. It is where all the fun happens; find yourself the right remedy and enjoy it!


Your choice of environment can make a big difference when it comes to whether or not you can reach orgasm. If you tend to be someone who has trouble getting an orgasm for whatever reason, these details of the environment, the location, and the time will be necessary for your experience. They will determine whether or not you will be able to get concentrated enough to orgasm. We will discuss several factors that contribute to whether or not your environment is conducive to your pleasure and orgasm. The atmosphere, time, and location are essential because being comfortable with all of these factors will allow you to focus on yourself, your pleasure, and your orgasm without distraction.


Suppose your insecurity stems from an inability to reach orgasm, as orgasms are not easily achieved in times of stress and anxiety. In that case, this technique can help you to improve your likelihood of anxiety.

Cardiovascular exercise has been shown to increase blood flow, which in turn increases your positive feelings during sex as well as the sensations your partner will feel on his penis when he slides it into your engorged vagina. Improving your aerobic capacity makes it so that blood will have an easier time flowing to the genitals as your body becomes more efficient at dispersing it. This means positive things for your orgasm as well as your partner’s.

In terms of sex drive, doing weight training has been shown to increase your sex drive, which is another factor that will positively affect your ability to orgasm. Another one of the countless benefits of exercise on your sex life is that it will make you feel more confident and optimistic about your body. This, in turn, will make you feel more satisfied in the bedroom, which will improve your mood, reduce your stress and anxiety, and make it so that you are more likely to reach orgasm.

Sex position to overcome anxiety

In this, the woman makes herself as open to penetration as possible. This she does by lying flat on her back and getting into a comfortable position. Once she is in place and ready, she can rock gently backward until she can pick her legs up and hold them high in the air. This should leave her lover with no misgivings about what he needs to do next. He has full access, and considerable encouragement takes her and then fills her yoni with his complete and ready lingam.

Finally, take it easy. Don’t get carried away with it. Try the things to do before sex and get the help to pull yourself out of sexual performance anxiety so that you can get back on track and enjoy a healthy sexual life.

READ NEXT: How to talk before sex? or Sex and monthly periods

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *