One of the most powerful features of a good relationship is sexual compatibility. At first, you could assume it is all about how much you and your partner want the same things in bed. Possibly, how your partner has body features like tits, backsides, dick, or straight shoulders the way you have always wanted. This is not entirely off the mark, but sexual compatibility goes way beyond such thinking.
What is Sexual Compatibility?
Imagine a relationship where your partner has the exact things you want. The height, the eyeballs, the body fitness, and the smile you always adore, but you cannot understand each other. You cannot tell if they are having a good or bad time; she doesn’t know when to let things go with you. He couldn’t tell when you are angry, tired, happy, or faking your emotions too.
Do you think you could be a good fit for such a person? Do you think you would relish having sex with him? It applies to both men and women. Sometimes, he wants to talk and not have sex, but you have no idea, and you pressed for it. You both had sex, but it definitely won’t be one she enjoyed.
Women put on a show sometimes. A woman would frown and scream about everything in the house as if she hated you. But all she wants is you. She wants you to drag her into your arms and kiss her. She wants to melt in your arms and passionately make love with you.
If you are sexually compatible, you would fully understand her when she falls into a mood like this, and you know exactly what to do. But if you are not sexually compatible, you might flare up at her weird behaviors. Label her all sorts and storm out of the house in anger.
Men have their styles of attracting you without saying a word too. Each person has a different kind of communication with their partner, and they frantically hope you could understand without waiting for them to explain in words.
Unquestionably, sexual compatibility goes beyond having the same taste in bed. These additional factors can determine how well you would get along in the bedroom and beyond. So you should recognize them all so you can tell whether if you are compatible with your partner or not yet.
Signals of Sexual Compatibility
Here are a few of the features that you should look out for when you need to determine whether you are compatible with your partner or not?
When you both have the same urge for sex – The desire for sex should be considered paramount in sexual compatibility. Your partner has to have the exact definition of sex as you. For instance, ‘do I consider anal, oral, and so on as sex?’ Whatever your answer is, she should have the same answers too. ‘Do I feel a mad drive for sex at least five times a week?’ ‘Can I go up to 5 rounds each time I have sex?’ ‘Is there a sex style, sex position that is so heavenly to me, and does my partner enjoy exploring that same style?’ You can begin to relax if your partner has the same answer to these questions; your compatibility level is gaining some scale.
When you know exactly what turns her on – If you and your partner can read each other like a book, you edge closer to sexual compatibility than you can imagine. You can tell when your partner is turned on, and all they need is a powerful fuck till they reach orgasm. You can also mean when you should give a cuddle and ignore your sexual drive. Your partner can tell the same about you too. You both possess the trick to get your partner up and very hard; you also know things that would instantly turn your partner off. Having this ability is crucial to your sexual compatibility with your partner. If your skills are not convincing in this regard, you probably have a lot to work on, But not to worry, we will take you through how to do it on the coming lines.
Know your partner’s sex environment preference – Quite strange but undoubtedly true. We all love to have sex in different conditions. Do you enjoy having sex in a completely dark place? Do you prefer a mildly lit or a very bright room? Or are you the type who loved getting laid in quick, silent areas and not even rooms? Is your partner the same? Some people love a man who could quietly slide into the kitchen and turn them on while quinoa or steaks are still on fire. They loved having sex in a quick spot like that, the bathroom, the walkway, the table, and not just the bedroom. You need to find out the positions of sex that thrills you more, and then analyze how much your spouse dazzle at such sex styles. It is entirely ‘okay’ to prefer having sex in a bedroom, as long as it is how your partners love it too. Otherwise, your sexual compatibility is uncertain.
How much affection can you both display in public? – No hard feelings, but some persons would not even want to hold your hand in public. It is not to say they cannot take your breath away in the bedroom, but the public display isn’t just for them. If you are the contrary type, the person who loves to cuddle, hug, and even kiss in public, you might have a rough time getting along with a partner who doesn’t fancy that, and it might affect your bedroom relationship. It doesn’t get any better when you are both out in a garden or a cinema, and you found couples doing precisely what your partner won’t.
How about technology in sex? – Quite awkward, but it is another factor to consider. Your wife or husband might be electrified by the thoughts of recording your sex now and then. He might want you to share nudes, flirt on texts. Your love life would get a zillion times more comfortable if you are the same type. But if not, it’s a complete breakdown that can lead you to marriage blanc.
Is she your crush? – If the sight of your lover is enough to stir something in your spine or your trousers, she is your crush. You will likely enjoy every moment of exploration with your lover if you both attract like magnets. Some couples watch porn or bring up another person’s memory in their head before they could garner the passion for copulating with their lover; this speaks nothing of sexual compatibility.
When you communicate intensely – Have you ever spoken with a husband who would flatly declare that ‘my wife would never agree to that’ or ‘this is just what my wife wants?’ how does it feel when the wife shows up, and it turns out that the husband was right? Spot on! Couples are expected to be just that. If you are the type who communicate intensely, you can complete whatever your wife was saying. You can correctly guess what she thinks, and you read her eyebrows better than a textbook. You would naturally find it easier to tell when their eyeballs sparkle for sexual exploration. You can tell when they soften at your signs, and you know when they blare green lights on anything. Being compatible in this regard aids sexual compatibility too.
How to Discover Your Sexual Compatibility?
Sexual compatibility, believe it or not, takes time and effort to cultivate. It’s not something that happens naturally since sexual expectations and desires differ greatly from each man and woman. Sex is a very personal thing, and even if you have a lot in common with your partner, there will still be differences you might have to work through. Imagine if you had to eat the same food every day for the rest of your life. Same food, same taste, same quantity, same flavor. How long do you think it’s going to be before you get tired or bored of it? It’s the same thing with sex. If you don’t take an active role in keeping the spark alive, it’s the same thing with sex. If you don’t take an active role in keeping the spark alive, it’s going to get boring real quick. Yet, many of us still expect everything to fall into place magically when it comes to sex, with little to no effort. When it doesn’t, we feel incredibly disappointed, but we don’t want to talk about it.
If you believe you’ve found your perfect match iin every way and you don’t want to lose that relationship over sexual differences, there is something you could do about it. You and your partner need to work on building your compatibility together and here’s how you do it:
Step 1: You must communicate
You need to get over the reluctance to talk about it and have an open, honest, heart-to-heart discussion with your partner if this is going to work. Communication is not just the key to making this work, it is the foundation on which the rest of your relationship is built on. You and your partner must be willing to share everything right down to your fetishes and kinky desires without holding back if you want to get to the point where a fulfilling sex life is possible. Speak up. Express yourself. Don’t be afraid to talk about it if the relationship is worth working on.
Step 2: Learning to compromise
A relationship is hard work, and two people need to be working together as a team on every level for the relationship to work. Even when it comes to sex. The truth of the matter is, no one is ever going to be a 100% perfect match. Some level of disparity will always exist, even in the most perfect couples, and you’re going to have to be willing to compromise and sacrifice without resentment on some aspects if you want to be compatible. You’re not always going to be in sync all the time, and trying to fulfill each other’s desires must be a shared responsibility. The most important thing here is the willingness of both parties to work on the shortcomings.
Step 3: Accept your incompatibility
As you communicate with your partner, be honest, and accept that you might not be as compatible as you would like. Living in denial only makes it harder. If you don’t acknowledge the problem, it’s going to be hard to fix. Healthy relationships have arguments and disagreements, yet you find a way to understand each other and work on your connection. It’s the same thing with sexual compatibility. Being a perfect match is a myth you need to let go of. Instead, embrace the problems to find solutions so you can work on becoming more compatible instead of growing further apart.
Step 4: Let go of unrealistic expectations
Unrealistic expectations only lead to disappointment. What’s worse, you put an unfair and unnecessary burden to live up to your expectations. If you don’t communicate what these expectations are, your partner might not even realize they’re letting you down. This secret resentment and unhappiness, feeling disappointed by your partner, can quickly lead to the deterioration of a relationship. We’re all guilty of having a certain expectations of what we would like our partner to be, but these expectations could also make it difficult for your to find happiness in your relationship if everything isn’t exactly how you want it to be. having expectations and certain standards are fine; it’s the unrealistic expectations that you need to start letting go of.
Step 5: Listen without judgement
You might be reluctant to openly talk about your sexual preferences with your partner because you’re worried if it’s going to change their perception of you. Maybe they’ll even judge you. But you know what? Your partner has those same concerns too. What if their sexual preferences upset you and cause you to leave them? During the communication process, it is important to listen to each other with an open mind. Don’t judge, but respect that this is who your partner is, and this is what they like, and vice versa. Everyone is entitled to their preferences, and no one should have to be made to feel ashamed of them if these preferences are healthy sexual desires.
What to Do When You Discover the Difference in Sexual Compatibility?
If you can read between the lines and give it some time, you would establish the level of love and sexual compatibility you share with your lover. You can then decide the areas you need to up your game with her or understand her more. When you seem different in a lot of regards, she won’t hug you in public, and she would never have sex in the kitchen or bathroom. What can you do?
You need to ask yourself a couple of questions before making a decision.
Is the difference a big deal? – It is okay to get what you love from your lover. But you would naturally adjust to not getting some. Scroll up and list out the compatibility features your partner does not have and ask yourself if you can let go of them or you flatly can’t. You may cross out those that don’t seem a big deal.
Can you adjust? – No doubt, you have other reasons for staying in a relationship beyond sex. However, sex is a crucial reason too. These other reasons may induce you to hang on in the relationship. They could be so strong that you would be willing to pay the price to keep it going, and that would include altering your sexual taste. If you are in a condition like this, you could change as much as possible before calling your lover’s attention to the areas you cannot adjust to.
Have you resolved the differences yet? – If you still notice a few incompatibility problems that need to be ironed out after asking yourself questions and taking steps on your answer, proceed to the following.
What Not to Do When Building Compatibility
As you work on building your sexual compatibility with your partner, these are the common mistakes that you want to avoid:
Don’t tell them what they want to hear: It cannot be emphasized enough how important honesty is here. Don’t tell your partner what you think they want to hear just to keep them happy. You need to be honest right from the start of your relationship or it’s never going to work in the long run.
Don’t try too hard: We all want to impress our partners in bed, but not to the point that we compromise our sexual happiness by trying too hard to please theirs. Both partners should be equally happy and satisfied, and there should be an equal amount of giving and receiving that goes on.
Don’t be reluctant to try: Now that you’ve talked about it, ideally, the next step is going to be that you try out some of your partner’s preferences to satisfy them an vice versa. Avoid being too reluctant to try it out, be willing to give it a go at least once before you decide whether this is something you enjoy or not. As the old saying goes, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
4 Simple Ways to Improve Your Sexual Compatibility
Communicate with each other as much as possible – Communication is the key to understanding. You need to talk to each other as much as possible. Share your feelings, thoughts, and ideas. When you decide to share your thoughts on your sexual relationship with your partner, ensure they are in the best mood they could listen to. Perhaps right after sex, before sex, or while at a flirty dinner. Watch their unspoken expression as they weigh your suggestions and be ready to guide them through.
Make efforts to adjust your taste – You need to understand your partner’s tastes too. They have their ideas and sexual preferences. They probably don’t like the styles you were presenting, or they hadn’t given them much thought earlier. Do not put pressure on them. Also, be willing to adjust and switch your taste with theirs. For instance, if your spouse loves sex in a dark place, and wants a bright environment, be willing to adjust so you can both feel satisfaction or lovemaking the way you always wanted it. If sex times or the difference in sexual urge is the problem, you still need to talk to them and see how you can compromise to strike a balance.
Be realistic with yourself – If your partner has a much lower sex drive than you or some differences that are so vast that they cannot be easily overlooked, you need to be realistic with yourself. Do not expect magic and recognize that we have differences that may never be bridged. This way, you can determine whether the circumstances are within what you can stand or you would walk away.
Get professional help – If you flawlessly love each other and realize that the differences are too vast than you can quickly fill, we highly recommend getting professional service. Talk to sex or marital counselor. There are always opinions you could use to strike a balance.
With all of these measures in place, you would strike a satisfactory compatibility level with your lover, and you could lead a fulfilled sexual affair. Another entity that can spice your sexual compatibility is romance.
Romance For Sexual Compatibility: The Game Changer
Like sex, romance is a term that has personal definitions. We all have our different styles of defining it. What looks like romance to you may seem completely absurd to another person. However you choose to view it, women want it more, and there are different ways you can express it. Listed below are the possible ways of being romantic:
- Being romantic is not about spraying your cash on her every time; it is more of spending your time than your money on her.
- Romance means a display of tenderness of affection. Treat your husband as the king of Jupiter, and let be sure your wife glows in happiness like the queen of the moon. Could you help her to bed? Lift her in your arms. Put on his shoes and tuck him.
- Having affection for your lover and showing it is the true meaning of romance. Laugh, and share their worries with them. Listen as your wife tells you about her tedious job, or your husband tells you about his lousy secretary.
- Gain each other’s trust that you would be the first to know anything in her life. You can attain that point by being open to each other completely.
- Dance for her, dance with him, drop love notes where she can find them when she wakes, sends him letters at work, and play surprise games on each other.
- Be comfortable with each other, cuddle even in front of others.
- Help each other and dedicate yourself to each other.
Being romantic has broader definitions for each person. It extends to the bedroom, where you should never rush into sex, give yourself time to foreplay and explore each other before intercourse. Have you tried to be romantic? It can boost your sexual compatibility in multiples.