Right after you have established your sexual compatibility with your lover, the next most important thing is improving the quality of your intercourse. How pleasurable is the sexual experience to you both? How often does your partner reach orgasm during sex? You will understand better if you explore the concept of orgasm.
So, What is an Orgasm?
Dr. Jess O’Reilly, an experienced sex and relationship counselor, explains no strong definition of orgasm. It is an experience that happens differently, so it is hard to give a general meaning. Even among the female gender, for instance, it is experienced differently, and as such, they cannot define it the same way. However, we can agree on something; orgasm is an experience that happens in your body while having sex to prove that you are enjoying the highest level of sexual enjoyment.
Whether you are a male or female, you could go on moaning and enjoying the pleasure of sex with your partner. But you would feel completely different when you reach orgasm. Some women declared that their lower part of their body down to their legs felt numb, and they seemed lifeless. For others, they would sob out of sheer pleasure and joy. ‘I felt breathless, and it seemed I was between death and life, with no control over what was happening to me,’ a man explained while trying to describe his orgasm experience.
Now, What Are The Types of Orgasm?
The Clitoral Orgasm: As recorded by Amber Brenza, clitoral orgasm occurs when a partner plays around the clitoris with his hands, tongue, or his organ. With the same caution and affection of a tongue on ice cream, the man should softly stroke the clitoris with his fingers or penis. This should be done with extreme accuracy that makes the woman give delightful moans consistently, leading to orgasm. Such orgasm is usually short and sharp, and you can capture it in the delicate expression on the woman’s face. It is known as clitoral stimulation.
The Vaginal Orgasm: This happens in the case of direct penetration of the vaginal. In most cases, it is stronger when tingled by actual penile-vaginal intercourse. It is much longer than a clitoral orgasm, and it could get more intense for her if you hit the right spot. Where is the right place? It is called ‘G-SPOT,’ meaning the big orgasm spot. Jane Charlene suggests that the G-spot might be at the front part of your vaginal, and so, you can hit the mark more if you penetrate your partner’s vagina from the rear. She will be left with a spasm of emotion and multiple orgasms if you hit the G-Spot consistently. But remember, pleasure is your priority, not orgasm.
The Anal Orgasm: In recent research, about 45% of female respondents who preferred anal sex pointed out that they reached orgasm quickly. This is not medically proven anywhere, but it is a strong indication that anal sex may improve orgasm for women.
Orgasm for Women, What Does She Want?
Reaching orgasm means a lot for women in intercourse. Let’s not even talk about the fact that it reduces inflammation and cardiovascular risks. Orgasm provides relaxation and satisfaction. Remember, it is the point where a woman feels the top of the pleasure in lovemaking. A woman who reaches orgasm would feel whole at that moment. Her bones and veins will feel weak as she goes numb in the lower parts of her body for a few minutes. She would feel happy, at ease, and feel delicate in a way she cannot explain.
According to Osmo Kontula, a famous sexologist, there are different ways a woman shows orgasm; some would sob and hold their partner tighter than they had done earlier, for that fleeting moment. Many more experience orgasms but do not have any idea because they do not understand how complex anal or vaginal orgasm could be.
O’Reilly also records that most women expect themselves to scream loud and squirt all over during sex, as often seen in porn. But this is not necessary at all, except when the woman is the type who squirts originally. A woman will also find it super hard to climax if she doubts her sexual ability, feels bothered about many things, or remains uncomfortable during intercourse.
So, you should not keep pushing the intercourse towards the woman’s orgasm. Instead, there are different levels of orgasm for a woman, and she wants you to take her through all of them. Reaching her orgasm should not be your priority; she wants you to give her all the pleasure at the different levels of intense sexual exploration. Even after orgasm, many women like you to caress and hold them as earlier. So, orgasm is not everything.
Orgasm for Men, What Does He Want?
The same way orgasm is the climax of it all for women, and men peak their pleasure in inexplicable ways when they reach orgasm. Unlike a woman’s orgasm, however, a man’s orgasm is direct and visible. It results in ejaculation. As a woman, a man does not begin lovemaking with his mindset on reaching orgasm. Instead, he focuses on having pleasure. He concentrates on enjoying every moment with the partner and maximizing the sexual exploration of his partner.
As Robert Hamilton reports in SEXUAL AWARENESS, most men hate to reach an orgasm before getting a healthy, fulfilling sexual experience. They are dedicated to increasing the period of lovemaking and their partner’s delight before reaching their orgasm. Quebec University researched to assess the effect of women’s orgasm on women. It was discovered that up to 65% of respondents felt that getting their partner to climax made them feel better than accomplished men. Women recognize this and so fake orgasm many times.
Rather than a fake orgasm, a woman can help his partner to improve the period before his orgasm and sexual exploration by doing the following:
- Guide him. Show him the erogenous parts of your body and guide him to explore them.
- Get his mindset on the exploration. Flirt with him and turn him on. Whisper sensational things about his strength, how much you love, and how much you want him to have you. Continue to whisper pouring words on him as you make love with each other.
- Change sexual positions. Adjusting can help a man last longer.
- Relax him. Try to help him relax and focus as much as possible.
- Spark his head before sex. Suppose you had plans to have sex at night. Spark his head all through the day. Flash him a sexy or half-nude picture. Show him a sensational part of you that he finds irresistible and ensure he takes diets that can increase his time in bed.
Women and men want the same things in sex; pleasure, intimacy, and love. Achieving orgasm should not be the priority of either party, and men would have more fun if they didn’t feel the obligation to be in control of sexual exploration every time. Unwind and have fun, forget orgasm, and explore each other!